What are the words you use to compare yourself to others?
Beautiful, poor, clever, unlucky, young, weak and so on.
Now, imagine yourself on some new planet, where nobody lived but you. Would you then be beautiful or ugly? Tall or short? Rich or poor?
Without comparison, these words naturally lose their meaning. Because they are only concepts formulated by the mind, they have no real existence. Try this: close your eyes for a few moments. Imagine yourself all alone in the world. Do you feel ugly or beautiful inside? Foolish or wise? Where are all these concepts then? Only the fact that you exist remains - because that is the only truth. To compare yourself with someone else is foolishness, because you can never be anyone else - and no one else can be you!
The funny thing is, we never compare ourselves to flowers or birds or mountains; so why do we compare ourselves to other people? I have yet to come across a singer who felt jealous of a koel, or a dancer who wished she were a peacock! When we can truly welcome and enjoy all else in nature that is beautiful, how come we can't enjoy the unique loveliness of each other? Why do we feel so intensely threatened by another's beauty or wealth or talent? This is nothing but simple social conditioning. Brought up in a competitive world, we tend to imagine that the more someone else has of something, the less there is for us!
Comparison can be of two kinds: constructive comparison and destructive comparison. Constructive comparison is essential and desirable. In a practical sense, it gives you a yardstick against which to measure yourself. It provides the spur, the stimulus to improve. Without comparing, how can you have a realistic appreciation of yourself?
Destructive comparison results from the inability to accept reality. In this big wide world, someone is sure to be better than you at whatever you do. 99.99% chances are that you're not the world's best mathematician, the fastest runner or the most talented painter. Does that mean that you enjoy these things any less? To focus only on what you're lacking simply means that you're on your way to a massive inferiority complex. And who needs it? Look around you. Do you know anyone else who is exactly the same as you? Don't you see how special you are? If you are comparing yourself to others and feeling miserable, it simply means that you aren't appreciating yourself enough!
You are so out of touch with your inner being that you have forgotten how extraordinary you really are. Once you realise this, the need to compare dies naturally. Even if you wanted to compare, each person is so different - where is a common point of reference?
So drop the attitude of comparison. Remember, you are truly unique - just like everyone else!