WE ARE not labels. We are all beings living inside the labels. We are not doctor, husband, friend, or anything. We are more than that. We are a total of all that.
We are so deeply attached to the labels. We wear labels very proudly. When people don’t notice and appreciate our labels we feel slighted, neglected, and annoyed. Our labels say things such as ‘I am a manager’ or that ‘I am a big businessman’ or that ‘I own many cars.’
A lady came to me complaining that she is hurt by even small criticisms coming from others. She said she was very sensitive.
I asked her to stop using that word. I said, ‘You are not sensitive. A really sensitive person will be porous; she will allow the words to pass through her. Only arrogant people get hurt. If you are hurt, please understand that you are arrogant. You are strong like a stone, which is why words come and hit you.’
WATCH someone who gets angry very quickly. The more he gets angry, the more he seems addicted to being angry. Getting angry does not resolve problems.
Biologists tell us that repeated behaviour actually rewires the brain. Neural networks get established with repeated behaviour pattern. What this means is that anger breeds anger.
How much bargaining we do in our love!
Even in our closest relationships, we ask, judge and measure – not realizing that the first rule of love is to give everything and ask for nothing! We cannot even call this a rule of love – it is just the fragrance of real love.
Listening has become a lost art. Although we are taught the communication tools of reading, writing and verbalising from childhood, the art of active and empathetic listening is often overlooked. Research suggests that people accurately comprehend and recall approximately 50% of what they hear. Within the next forty eight hours, most forget half of the retained information, hence leaving a mere 25% of what was initially heard.
Have you taken an honest look at your relationships?
In every relationship, we are constantly trying to sculpt the other person in the way we have imagined them to be. Even without being aware of it, we continuously try to control and change and possess the other.